What I Owe You: The Minority Blogger’s Obligations

I am constantly inundated with comments from privileged people (almost entirely men) who demand that I address their comments immediately and with a smile, bitch. Because society has trained men to expect this of women, and by even daring to blog about feminist topics, I’m stepping outside of their view of what’s acceptable behavior for a woman. This makes them angry, so they usually either start their comments with threats (rape, beatings, murder–these all get blocked immediately) or with insults about how lazy/selfish/stupid/etc. all feminists (and me in particular!) are. Well gee, that sure makes me want to engage in intelligent discourse.

Of course, if I do anything other than reply with a smile, bitch, I’m just proving how evil/man-hating/etc. I am. Even if I reply telling them I’ve already answered their questions, they just needed to look at the comments I already replied to directly above. Even if I reply that I’ve covered the topic elsewhere in this blog, and it can be easily located with my title index (or hell, even if I include a link). Even if I kindly point them in the direction of exactly what they’re asking for, it’s not good enough.

See, these men think they’re special. Not necessarily compared to other men, but certainly compared to me. So since they think they’re special, and I’m not, they believe I’m obligated to retype every goddamn post and comment, on the spot, entirely for them. Because that’s how much they value my time and effort. I should lose hours of my day responding to these entitled dickwads, but they shouldn’t spend a few minutes scanning the comments section before they spew the same old nonsense I get literally every. single. day.

Really stop and let that sink in. Hours of my time every day. Minutes of theirs, just once. And I’m the entitled one? Oh dear lord. Good fucking christ, men, noooooooooo.

You see, men, contrary to what you think, me writing this blog? It doesn’t mean I owe you my replies to your comments. It doesn’t mean I owe you publication of your comments at all. It doesn’t even mean I owe you the opportunity to make a comment to me, screened or otherwise.

Me writing this blog means I’m writing a blog. Some people will read it, lots of people won’t. Do I hope it makes a minority feel less alone in the world? Of course. Do I hope it may change an oppressive person’s outlook? Well damn skippy, that’d be awesome. But if you’re so goddamn privileged that you come in here demanding I give you my undivided attention just because your Special Snowflake blowhole demands it, you are not the kind of person I’m reaching out to with this blog. You’ve already made up your mind (as evidenced by all the comments that start with some form of, “this is why I fucking hate feminists”) and nothing I say is going to change it. So you can piss in the wind all you want, I don’t owe you shit.

In fact, let’s make it real clear what I owe to the readers of this blog:

  • Intersectionality
  • Acknowledgment of (and no abuse of) my own privilege
  • and that’s fucking it.

    So let me address these Special Snowflake men directly here: I don’t owe you my time, I don’t owe you my effort, I don’t owe you my kindness, I don’t owe you reading and comprehension lessons, I don’t owe you a virtual blow job because you implied that maybe you’d consider treating me like an actual human if I licked the dog shit off your shoes first.

    I am respectful in replying to those who deserve it. I used to be respectful to those who didn’t deserve it, too, but I’m sick of listening to those shriveled whiny ballsacks insult me and expect kindness in turn. You get what you give, fellas, and you? You’re getting monikers like “shriveled whiny ballsacks.” Don’t like it? Stop acting like shriveled whiny ballsacks.

    Now you go right on ahead and fuck yourselves now, ‘kay?


    About bunnika

    shout at the brick wall; if it doesn't hear you, shout louder
    This entry was posted in ableism, blogly business, challenging privilege, feminism, human rights, queer rights. Bookmark the permalink.

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